Soulmate, Twin Flame, The One

Soulmates, Twin Flame, The One

“A soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul, to do the emotional work of self-discovery, of awakening.”

~ Kenny Loggins

Soulmate, Twin Flame, The One

Soulmate, Twin Flame, The One

Many of you have probably heard these terms before. They might bring up a feeling of excitement and desire, or anxiety and hopelessness depending on how you relate to them. I want to share my perspective on what I think about these terms and how we can use them in a beneficial way.

What Do These Terms Mean?

The traditional connotation we have with these terms is that ‘The One,’ is a person that completes us. They’re our other half, the one that knows us intuitively, which we’ll be with forever. For obvious reasons, it has a very romantic connotation. Without wanting to take away the poeticism, I want to share the potential traps of getting too attached to these terms and the unhealthy (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations we can create out of them.

A soulmate and twin flame are considered two different things. A soulmate is someone whom you have a deep knowing of; like you’ve spent lifetimes together before. A soulmate can be a romantic partner or a friend. Often soulmates teach us a lot about ourselves, sometimes in supportive ways and at other times, in challenging ways. Soulmates ultimately support our growth should we choose to take the opportunity to learn and evolve.

A twin flame has been described as someone who shares your soul but I’d say it’s more someone that reflects a very similar resonance to your own soul. Even twins are two individual beings but they possess many similar qualities. Twin flames have a twin-like energy and resonance between them. They tend to be a romantic partnership vs a friendship, but they can come with conflict as they reflect back to each other the shadow aspects of themselves.

They both can become life partners but just because someone is your soulmate or twin flame, doesn’t necessarily mean they will be your life partner.

A Spiritual Perspective On What A Soulmate Is

We can look at it like this: From a spiritual perspective, you could say that anyone that shows up in our lives that holds great meaning to us, we have a soul contract or agreement with them. (This can be both a positive and negative connection, btw). They’re here to teach us something about ourselves, help us heal, grow and evolve.

The duration of that agreement doesn’t necessarily mean ‘forever.’ Sometimes, yes, we find someone that we spend our entire lives with. But as the paradigm of relationship is rapidly changing and evolving at the moment, the success of a relationship shouldn’t be measured by its length, but by the quality of the connection.

Whether it’s a soulmate, twin flame or what we like to call The One, the quality of our relationships are what matter most. Are we creating a conscious, authentic relationship together? Are both individuals, as well as the relationship itself (see the Third Entity), growing? How present and connected are we? Are we showing up with integrity, honesty, transparency? Do we love each other unconditionally, taking ownership of our own behaviour and being interdependent vs codependent? These are just a few of the questions we should be asking ourselves.

“Happily Ever After”

We’ve all been indoctrinated to believe in the fantasy (and illusion) of “Happily Ever After.” I call it an illusion because happily ever after is not realistic. Even the most well-matched, conscious, unconditionally loving couple will face their hurdles. Life is never one straight, unchanging line. That, in hospital terms, would mean you’re dead because when the heart beats the graph is constantly going up and down and so too is life, constantly ebbing and flowing.

Letting go of the Disney Illusion

If we let go of the illusion of happily ever after, we can let go of expectation that comes with it. The expectation that there is one perfect person that is going to complete, validate and even save, us. That narrative is disempowering and often stems from our wounded inner child rather than a healed, healthy, mature adult.

Letting go of the illusion means you can show up with presence to what is, not what you expect it should be. This leads to healthy, interdependent relationships that have a chance of lasting a long time because we’re not ping-ponging our shit back and forth to each other. We’re mutually supportive and loving, and act as a team rather than two people that are dependent on the other to stand up.

Expectations always lead to disappointment. Doing the inner work and healing your inner child and wound, will support you in growing into the true, authentic woman or man that you are. When you know how to take care of yourself, embody your worth and understand the language of your inner world (needs, desires, fears, triggers etc), you are much more likely to see a partner that will reflect that same level of resonance.

It’s all about embodiment and being the person you want to be in the relationship of your dreams (and reality!), vs praying for some other person to come along and make that perfect relationship for you.

Manifesting Your Soulmate, Twin Flame, The One

With all of that said, there is no reason not to call in that soul relationship that you desire. The key is to do it from an authentic place of self-worth. That you’re not calling in a saviour but a partner that is in alignment with your true Self.

Most importantly, the focus while manifesting is less on what they look like and what boxes they tick, and more the feeling that you want to experience within that relationship. We manifest most powerfully from a feeling place, not an intellectual one. If the feelings aren’t aligned with our thoughts, we might get the guy or gal that ticks all the boxes but the feeling simply isn’t there.

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