Couples Coaching: Connecting You Back Together Again
The Power of Relationship
“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
~ James Baldwin
Relationships can be hard work, right? They’re wonderful, but when we’re in a longterm relationship, it can get tough at times.
Why? Because relationships trigger all of our stuff. They trigger our wounds, insecurities, fears, unmet needs, the pain of our past; a bit of everything, really. Most of us are also often in co-dependent relationships (vs. inter-dependent) because we aren’t always coming from a healthy, mature, adult part of ourselves, but rather from our wounded inner child.
Relationships begin to break down as a result of poor communication (or miscommunication). We don’t feel heard, seen or understood because most often we’re communicating in either an attacking or defending tone. When our communication breaks down, we become disconnected, lose closeness, intimacy and our bond slowly becomes severed. It’s all too easy then, to feel like enemies rather that partners, or a team, that love each other.
But relationships are amazing teachers and catalysts for growth. But as we probably already know, growth comes with growing pains.
Building the bridge back to each other
We want connection, right? We want intimacy, closeness, safety, good sex, all of it! But these things are hard to cultivate when we feel disconnected and have grown further away from each other.
The first step is to build the bridge back to each other so you can feel that sense of togetherness again. That happens through learning how to communicate in a way where both of you feel heard, seen and understood. Where both truths can be held safely and you understand the perspective of your partner.
Understanding each other’s perspective creates connection, empathy and makes us feel less alone. Instead of pulling away from each other, building the bridge is about coming back towards each other. It takes honesty, vulnerability and a bit of humble pie, but it’s the first big step towards reviving our relationships.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
~ Carl Jung
How I can help you
My role is to create a safe, non-judgmental space so that you can both share, honestly and freely. I’m here to hold both of your truths and perspectives, see what the underlying dynamic is between you two and guide you back towards connection, intimacy and fulfillment.
10 steps to creating an Authentic Relationship
- Building conscious, Non-Violent Communication
- Discovering your triggers and defenses
- Understanding your unmet needs and desires
- Learning how to remain connected to your Authentic Self in relationship
- Recognizing the Third Entity
- Supporting each other’s needs and what love looks like for each other as individuals
- Cultivating intimacy, vulnerability, honesty and compassion
- Aligning your vision and goals
- Accepting change and how to grow beside each other
- Moving from co-dependence to inter-dependence