Updated on February 16, 2023
My work is based on authenticity and I’ve been guiding individuals back to their Authentic Self for well over a decade now. But along the way I’ve heard various misinterpretations of the word and several people that have asked me, What does authentic mean? So I want to take a moment to clarify what authentic means (at least to me).
Many people confuse being authentic with being your “perfect” self. That you’re only authentic when you are happy, positive and you have your sh** together. This isn’t true at all.
Being authentic is being your true Self. Getting to your true, Authentic Self is a journey and process that requires you to peel back the layers of the onion, stripping back aspects of your personality which include your false beliefs, habitual patterns, coping mechanisms etc.
Your true Self lies at the very core of your being. It’s the essence of who you are. Think of it this way:
Your true, Authentic Self is the canvas. The paint you slab on it are your thoughts, feelings and life experiences. Some of the drawings you paint are your wounds, your false self-beliefs, the identity you created in order to cope and survive in life, your relationship patterns, the tinted lens you see life through.
But you, your true Self, is always the canvas. The essence of who you are, which is, has been and will always be, worthy, loveable and significant, is forever there. It cannot be taken away from you. You cannot lose it. We just sometimes forget about it and get caught up in the layers and muck of paint we’ve pasted upon it over the years.
At the core of being authentic is the idea that you just get to be you. That no matter what you’re feeling, thinking or experiencing, that it’s ok…it’s ok to be you.
So if being authentic to yourself in this moment means I feel tired and down, then that’s your truth in this moment and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Authenticity is about being in our truth. The reason why much of the time people are not being authentic, is because they’re not being truthful about their experience. They might answer, fine, instead. At worst, people put on a mask pretending that they’re someone who they think is a better version of who they are. Someone happier, more successful, less scared and anxious etc.
Authenticity asks us to just be real. To be true, most importantly to ourselves and then of course with others.
Be you. No matter if you’re feeling scared, insecure, down and deflated, being true to yourself is what will bring you peace.
When we’re at peace with ourselves, we’re no longer judging how we feel, what we think, or what we’re experiencing. We rest in a place of complete self-acceptance, holding ourselves with love. And that can even mean that we feel ok with not being ok. Does that make sense?
It’s always coming back to the truth of how we feel in any given moment without judgment, shame or blame. We get to just be us and feel safe, loved and accepted as we are. Doesn’t that sound nice?
That kind of peace within ourselves is what, in the end, brings us happiness. Not an external happiness that wears a smile as a mask, an internal happiness that feels truly at home, comfortable in our skin.
