Life Coach, Mentor & Relationship Specialist,
Corinne Blum, shares video tips on subjects such as self-love, self-acceptance, self-worth, fear, judgment, how to be with our emotions, conscious communication and more. Basically, how to be human and know that it’s okay to be you!
Watch video tips below or subscribe to my YouTube channel
If you were to draw progress what would it look like? Our society likes to draw progress in a straight line or in an upward moving curve. But we’re not graphs, we’re human. And we’re not linear, we’re cyclical. The way I look at progress is in a spiral, spherical, cyclical kinda way. We’re continually either spirally in or out, moving through cycles (just like nature cycles through four seasons) and experiencing a multitude of experiences in any given phase (the sphere, encompassing all those simultaneous experiences). When we see life as cyclical and progress as spiralling, there is no longer that pressure that measures our actions by success or failure. Up or down. Right or wrong. Life isn’t black and white, but full of colour. Notice how this change in perspective might change everything. Might take the pressure off. Remove the “shoulds” which are really just the opinions of society or others or anything that is not you and your own. It’s an invitation, as always.
Self-responsibility is really just about being an adult. It’s about tending to our inner child and taking care of ourselves on all levels. Self-responsibility isn’t about berating ourselves, it’s about owning our experience. It’s an act of self care and in the end hugely empowering as we learn to engage with life and step out of the victim paradigm and into sovereignty. Listen in for more…
We often want to fix or get rid of the parts of us that we don’t like, feel ashamed of or uncomfortable within. But these parts don’t need for us to abandon them, they need for us to show up for them with loving attention. A client had a beautiful realisation that they needed to just be with and take care of their anxiety. That in this moment of life, they have anxiety so the question isn’t how to get rid of it but how to be with it. We live in a society that loves to distract, numb and ignore; looking to treat it mask the symptom rather than heal the core. We’re never going to get “rid” of parts of us. We can alchemise and transform them but that can only happen by being with them. We never heal by walking away from ourselves but by walking towards ourselves, taking the hand of our fear and making it feel safe by our loving, kind, gentle presence. Listen in for more…
Your behaviour doesn’t have anything to do with your worth. Your self-worth is inherent. You were born with it, you’ll die with it. You might forget or get disconnected from it in-between, but it’s always there. Your behaviour on the other hand might need evolving and can be changed in a productive, loving way. But if you make your behaviour about your worth, you won’t actually ever grow because the stakes will be too high. The judgment too great. You’ll take everything personal and your patterns will repeat themselves because it will feel too painful to look at them because you believe they have everything to do with who you are, aka your worth. The key is to become the witness. To assume your worth is intact and then become the observer of your thoughts, feelings, triggers, coping mechanisms etc and understand WHY they are happening because there is always a deeper reason. Listen in for the analogy I offer to explain what the witness/observer is.
Finding your inner authority… We’ve lived in a paradigm which has handed over our authority to something or someone outside of us, which has robbed us of our own inner knowing, of trusting ourselves and ultimately healing ourselves. Society has groomed us to believe that someone outside of you has the answers, that they will validate you, and that they know better than you. It’s disempowering and it keeps us from fully residing at home within ourselves Listen in to understand why inner authority is such a vital part of the healing process. At the core of it, inner authority is about trusting ourselves and we have to trust ourselves in order to create the lives we are yearning to live.
It’s so exciting when I get to see how a client has grown over the years. That a concept what once felt abstract, seemingly all of a sudden is a felt experience. One of my long term clients finally began to really get what self love is. Listen in to see how she explained it. It’s beautiful…😊
Yesterday I spoke about the difference between unconscious anger that we act out and lash out on others, and conscious anger which is the communication of the feeling of anger as an emotion. Today I go deeper into our triggers, wounds and the stories we make about ourselves as a product of our wounding. The most important thing to know is that our wounding isn’t our fault. Even though we can point to what initiated our pain, there really is no original culprit because trauma gets handed down generationally until we make it conscious and do the inner work to heal it and stop the line of trauma and wounding. It’s not our fault and yet it is our responsibility to heal it and I say that as a good thing. We deserve to take responsibility and do the work and heal it because the gift we receive in return is a happy life where we can fully receive love without sabotaging it and perpetuating unnecessary suffering and pain. Doing the work offers us liberation. It takes effort but it’s worth it…
Let’s talk about anger. We haven’t learned how to express anger in a healthy, constructive way in our society. So we vilify it and suppress it and then when it eventually comes out, it comes out sideways. But we’ve also misinterpreted what expressing anger means. Enacting or acting out unconscious anger in a reactive way, isn’t really expressing our anger. When we can connect to the feeling of anger by learning how to sit with, hold and feel our anger and then communicate it from an “I am feeling” place, is making the emotion of anger conscious. Once it’s conscious, we can communiate it in a way that can be heard. It’s not about enacting anger but about communicating the emotion of anger because anger is just that: an emotion. What communicating the emotion of anger requires however, is the curiosity to find out what’s underneath it because anger is most often the symptom at the surface and not the deeper feeling that triggered it. Anger is therefore the messenger pointing us towards our often, unseen pain and wounding. In order to resolve our anger, we have to go through the pain, to the wound and give ourselves the loving attention we’ve been needing all along.
Something I’ve noticed over the past couple years is how people are beginning to question what has meaning to them. The living to work model, especially if that work is unfulfilling, doesn’t really work anymore. So what if instead of following the old paradigm of thinking that would have you planning the next five, ten years of your life (which includes what house you’ll buy, how many kids you’ll have, how much money you’d make) you chose a more intuitive way of living?… What would it look like to not have your rational mind be the master but your heart be the guide? To be curious about what does have meaning for you, what inspires you and enlivens you? What if you were to allow yourself to let those questions be the guiding force that drives your life? Give it a try and feel free to share your experience in the comments below. I’d love to hear 😊
I talk a lot about coming back home to heart. But what does that look like on a practical level? Well, first we have to look at what often keeps us from being in our heart and mainly it’s fear and anxiety. And what is fear and anxiety but symptoms, or messengers if you will, of our pain. And where does our pain come from? From our wound. So the pathway to our heart requires that we walk through our fear and anxiety, sit with our pain, discover the deeper wound and ultimately give ourselves the unmet need. Once we’ve travelled in, the journey back out looks very different, because now all of a sudden we’re showing up for ourselves. We begin to build trust because we’re no longer abandoning, rejecting, criticising, judging ourselves. We’re taking care of ourselves, instead. And in taking care and being present with our full self, we learn how to embrace all of our humanity and in that embracement we learn the power of the heart that can truly hold everything.
So much of our culture is driving us away from ourselves. We’re being robbed of getting to know who we are on a deeper level, discovering who we truly are, and finding peace within ourselves as a direct result of that exploration. This is an invitation to come back home to yourself. To take time for yourself and give yourself loving attention. I believe we can change the world by the simple (not always easy but simple) act of coming back home to ourselves. Come back to heart. Come back to who you’ve always been underneath it all. They taught us to be ashamed of ourselves. Take the time to strip that story away and remember the beautiful being that you already are.
Being authentic is really just about feeling comfortable within ourselves and feeling comfortable requires that we feel relaxed. So rather than seeing things—experiences, thoughts, feelings—as good or bad, positive or negative, notice instead of you are in a state of relaxation or tension. If you are in a state of tension, all that indicates is that you might be in a state of anxiety, fear, insecurity, lack of self worth, not feeling good enough etc. And that does NOT mean something is wrong with you. It’s not a negative thing. It’s simply a cue, a messenger, that is inviting you to give yourself loving attention. All tension is, is a part of you asking you to love it. That’s it. That’s why we do this work. Not to be “positive” and forever perfect. We do it so we feel comfortable within ourselves because we love, accept and embrace ALL of who we are no matter what we’re feeling, thinking or experiencing.
These are the in between moments. The plateau. The ebb before the flow. They’re not the inspired moments we share on Instagram but the moments that lead up to them. The real and raw, boring a mundane moments that fill the spaces in our daily lives. It’s ok to have a flat day. To be tired. To not do anything because your worth rests in your state of being, not in what you produce. Be gentle with yourself. Rest. Be bored. Maybe you’ll learn something about yourself…give it a try 😉
You were taught as a child to avoid your emotions. You felt scared and you were told, “don’t be scared.” You were sad and you were told, “don’t cry.” And in that moment you were severed from yourself and began to fragment yourself. Because you felt one thing, but were told another, which made you confused and led you to stop trusting your experience and most importantly, yourself. Emotions are the language of our inner world. They act as our barometer of what’s going on inside and around us. They lead us towards our inner compass and guidance system, our intuition and true Self. Start listening. Start learning the language of your inner world. Pay attention. Be present. Loving. And I promise you, you’ll find your way back home.
Are you making decisions from a place of fear or authenticity? Are you living a “safe” life or an enlivened one? Authenticity takes courage because it invites us to step into the unknown. To not just follow the crowd or hand over our authority to someone or something outside of ourselves, but to take self-responsibility and to trust ourselves deeply, instead. Living an authentic life is living a present life where each moment you get to engage with life and therefore be the creator of your life vs being at the mercy of it. But check your motivation…are you coming from fear or love?
What does it mean to be sovereign in relationship? What does it look like to love unconditionally? To show up in relationship as spiritually mature adults vs the archetypal child? We’re in a time when old paradigms, structures and belief systems are being redefined. Relationship is a big one that is being reviewed. And redefining relationship doesn’t mean you still can’t choose monogamy, it means where are you centering yourself?… It’s never the action but the motivation behind our actions. If we want to love unconditionally, we’ve got to be sovereign, mature, self-responsible adults that aren’t in relationship to own another person but to be generous in our love, to bow down in service to love and to the sovereign being whom we wish only happiness upon. Unconditional, sovereign love requires doing the inner work. Healing the wounded child so we can show up autonomously, authentically, sovereign and empowered. This is the beginning of creating a conscious, interdependent relationship.
We get stuck on the surface when we just react to our, or our partner’s, trigger. We stay skin deep when we repeat the same attack and defend loop. What triggers require is curiosity and compassion. There is always a deeper reason for why we get triggered. We’re afraid, anxious, overwhelmed and hurting because the trigger is simply hitting upon our pain and how we cope with that pain. If we want to change the cycle and heal the wound, we have to be curious and compassionate and go deeper, below the surface of reactivity. In this way we’re building awareness and in awareness we can make a different choice and change the pattern.
Ask yourself the question: Is it okay to be me? Any area of your life where the answer to that question is no, that’s where you need to move towards and that’s the part of you that needs your loving attention.
The most important part of doing this work is not so that we can be perfect, happy and positive all the time, or to live a life without challenges, because that’s just not how life works. We do this work so that no matter what challenges do arise, we know we can handle them. We have our backs. We don’t abandon ourselves but tend to ourselves lovingly, instead.