Updated on January 11, 2016
I have discovered that my true passion is to help people feel comfortable in their own skin. Over the years I have been coaching, and more than a decade of my own personal growth, I keep on coming back to self-acceptance. Within the journey, throughout the process, over the peaks and along the plateaus, nothing has helped me more than unconditional self-acceptance. Of course at times our relationship to ourselves is conditional and judgments fly spurring old beliefs and provoking triggers to flare. But it is more the practice and the intention that no matter what is happening, whatever thoughts or feelings arise, that it is all ok and more importantly, that it is ok to be me.
Underneath the “I’m not good enough” and “I’m not worthy” your essence is waiting to come through. What seems to stop us though is this false belief that we should be something, someone, better than who we are. But all we are ever asked to do is to just be who we are: our unique self. So perhaps it is the shame, the doubt, the not knowing who we are that distracts us from who we truly are. Or perhaps we simply make the whole thing a far more difficult endeavor than is necessary. That really, the task of self-discovery and self-acceptance is one of just allowing, letting go and listening to what is already here.
So you might be thinking this sounds easier in theory than in practice. This is in part true. Sometimes the hardest thing in life is to love and accept ourselves but it is the key to peace, happiness and fulfillment. As the saying goes we can only love others if we can first love ourselves. There is great truth to this and yet I see that it is also possible to put others first; to give love to another without allowing ourselves to accept and receive it as well.
We are easily the first to criticize ourselves, the last to love ourselves and somewhere in the middle we have become our own greatest obstacle. Working on ourselves, revealing our limiting beliefs, unraveling our patterns, soothing our triggers and softening our perspective is of great worth and value. It is a path unlike any other where curiosity, a little adventure and some stamina are all well called for. But to face our greatest obstacle and make it through to the other side, we have to get out of your own way.
I have found that in the times when I felt most unseen, undervalued and insignificant by others was when I was not truly recognizing my own potential and power. When I thought I wasn’t good enough or capable enough for the job. When I didn’t stand beside myself in support to have the courage and strength to believe in myself no matter what. It is easy to blame others, to blame life, to blame the story but it is far harder to pause in the midst of it all and tell ourselves, “I am ok just as I am right now. With all my flaws, fears and insecurities, I’m ok because I accept myself, I value myself and I know there are no terms of success or failure other than the ones I lay upon myself.”
So I invite you to practice, both in the high times and most importantly during the lows, telling yourself “It’s ok…it’s ok to be me”.
Let go of the limiting beliefs, who you think you should be, the shame of how you feel, and let your true self come through!
And a final few words by Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”